1. Sheryl and I have been giving David all sorts of advice to help with potty training (especially with improving one’s aim) and with manners in general. Who knew that this advice might come back at us later out of context?
- One morning, David and Daddy were eating breakfast at the table, and David audibly passed gas.
- Daddy asked him, “Now David, what do you say?”
- To which David replied, “I use my penis like a hose!”
2. At bath time one evening, Daddy shaped David’s shampooed hair into a big unicorn-like horn and said, “Look, David, you have a horn!” David looked into the bathtub mirror, touched the “horn” repeatedly and exclaimed with a grin, “Beep beeeep!”
3. Evidently in response to what everyone who’s ever changed David’s diapers on a regular basis has asked, David attempted to pull down Mommy’s pants one morning and then asked, “Momma, do you have poop in there?”
4. Snack time conversation:
- Daddy: “David, would you like a cup of crackers?
- David: “Nooo.”
- Daddy: “OK, how about a cup of chips?”
- David: “Noooo.”
- Daddy: “OK, how about a cup of frogs?”
- David: “No, Dadda, I don’t like frogs. They’re dirty.”
5. Dinner time conversation, all three of us in the kitchen:
- Mommy: “OK, it’s time to eat, David!”
- Daddy (playing a joke on punctuation): “It’s time to eat David?”
- David: “No, Dadda, don’t eat me. I’m not food.”
I just got through reading a comment by Art Linkletter mentioning that “Kids Say the Darndest Things” and that
humor is the lubricant that you need to get through life.
Laughing at David’s comments, I can see that he is going to keep things well lubricated around his house with humor.